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Showing posts from January, 2019

The Inquisition.

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First, let me say a big, "Thank you" to everyone that has reached out with a "great blog" or constructive criticism. I sincerely appreciate the love and am so happy that our story has hit home with so many. You feel all alone in your situation sometimes. Truth be told, we are all human and fallible. Faith in something greater than yourself, grace for those fail, patience for the process, and love for each other is what gets us through the ugly.

Speaking of ugly, we had some ugly to get through. Part of Mr. Cajun's struggle was the unknown. At any time during any random day a thought would pop in his head and it was like a worm hole to hell. His imagination would get the best of him. I could take one look at him and know he had gone to what we began referring to as "a bad place." His mind had him watching John and I interact with each other. He would see very graphic images of the two of us on his bed. It was terrible.

Crazy how the fear of the unknow…

Coming Clean

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I really want to write about newbies. We are still fairly new, at just at one year in the LS. However, new-new-newbies are my favorite. I will save this for another day.
Today, I am blogging “the rest of the story”.
My husband and I had to take a weekend getaway to help my niece move into her college dorm. During this time, the guy from the coffee shop went to Hawaii. Let’s call the coffee shop dude “John.” I. Freaking. LOVE. Hawaii. It is my favorite place on earth. John sent me pictures while he was there; knowing this tidbit of information about me. One of them was a full-frontal nude. HOT! I knew I had to tell Mr. Cajun that he existed. If he saw me texting him, he would think I was cheating. And I wasn’t. Yet. I mean, texting a guy is not an affair, and having a normal lunch with him…at his house…with no one there was not an affair. We weren’t physical at this time. So, I was certain there was no affair.
“Aren’t these pictures gorgeous, baby?” I ask him, showing him the most beautif…

I love you. I do not like you.

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I was going to take a break from our story and blog on something sexy. However, I cannot seem to get this part of our story out of my mind. So, I will skip ahead just a bit to the recovery phase.

The one thing we knew is that we loved each other more than anything. I loved him more than I wanted to "find myself." He loved me more than he wanted to leave me for my colossal mistake. The first time I spent time with him on an actual date, I knew that he was the one. Months later into our courtship, he revealed to me that he knew he loved me that same night. We really had one of those moments. The one where lightning hits your heart and you know you are sitting there with your soul mate. There was no way we were throwing this deep connection away over this. It. Just. Was. Not. Worth. It.

So, what do you do? How do you connect with someone that you love so much when you really do not even want to look at that person? I had a hard time being in the same room with him because I ha…

So, how did that happen?

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Cheaters never intend on cheating. At least, I did not…quite the opposite. I had been the victim in a plethora of affairs from my ex. One of which lasting several years. A few of them had been with people who were supposed to be my "friends." Let's just say that I have a “shit ton” of experience and knew in my heart that I could never stoop to such a horrible thing. 

And then I did!

It was a random Tuesday. I ran out of the office to a coffee shop. Here, we have CC's and it is THE place to cure a coffee craving. I'm standing in line waiting for my mocha and I hear this soft, deep, velvet voice behind me utter, almost as an accident, "Those legs are hard to ignore." 
My breath catches. I slowly pivot around on my heel. I see this pair of piercing blue eyes staring at me. I slowly examine the rest of his face. Sandy blonde hair. Dimples for days (my weakness). He is gorgeous. He's in a suit and wingtips. Just a picture of perfection. His smirk tells me …

And then we started swinging

A typical couple in the lifestyle looks like this: Dated in high school. Married sometime during or just after college. Kids have grown and are or have left the nest. And then they start to discover each other again. Welcome to the lifestyle.

Our story is a little different.

I had an affair.

Yes, read that again. I had an affair with a man who would never replace my husband. He was a "safe" affair as he was only looking for physical entertainment. I told him on several occasions that I was happy to be cheating with a man who would never end up on my doorstep at midnight confessing his undying love for me. Honestly, that's why I pursued him. He was hot. He had an untethered life. He completely lacked the ability to emotionally connect with any other human being. He's kind of a narcissist. Not someone I want to spend my life with. Just someone I wanted to make me feel good about myself.

I was the female side of the typical lifestyle couple. Married right out of high sc…