Hi. My name is Sara. And I am an MFM advocate.
Oh, right. The blindfold. Darkness.
It was a helluva night. Mr. Cajun and John are the bosses at making a woman lose her shit in a good way. While, this is a sexy blog I'm not typing a play-by-play with intimate details. That's out of my comfort zone. I will give you the gist:
Once the blindfold was in place, my comfort level skyrocketed. I was totally about to bolt just before they covered my eyes. Standing there in the kitchen with these two, listening to them talk like old friends, trying to hear what they said over the "get the fuck out of here you crazy ass woman" that was screaming in my head, and trying to at least look relaxed was making me a basket case. BUT, the blindfold fixed all of that. Depriving me of my sight quieted my mind. It also improved my ability to feel, smell, taste, and hear.
Mr. Cajun and I stood there in the kitchen for another minute or so, kissing. John was standing behind me rubbing my back. Then Mr. Cajun pulled back and the two led me into another room. The music was louder there, but not overpowering. I would later see the candles burning in his bedroom, but for now their smell enveloped me as I entered his room. I heard John cut off the air as we walked by the thermostat. Warm, fragrant air is nice when you are naked.
They guided me onto the bed. I could sense Mr. Cajun and John motioning to each other. This would continue throughout the night. It was like a production with these two orchestrating. Mr. Cajun told John he could kiss me. The MFM continued with the two of them concerning themselves with pleasing me. Which, they did. Over and over again. Seriously, dehydration is a problem after really great sex.
Mr. Cajun slowly moved the boundary back as the night progressed. About halfway through the night, he had allowed kissing and oral. Soft-swap is what I anticipated this night being. At some point, just after one of the ridiculous orgasms, I rolled onto my stomach. I heard John tell Mr. Cajun to check on me. I rolled over and pulled off the blindfold. Two sweaty, hot guys stared back at me. "Um, halftime?" I ask. They giggled. John headed for the kitchen and returned with water. Bathroom and water break. I thought about leaving the blindfold off, but I really enjoyed not knowing what or who was going to happened. So, I returned it to its place over my eyes.
The second half continued. More music, candles, sweaty-awesome two-on-one-sex. Late into the evening, Mr. Cajun gave the "fuck her" order. John confirmed he was sure and comfortable. And bam, for the first time in forever, I had sex with someone other than my husband. It's so crazy how this affects you. Later, Mr. Cajun informed me that this was his plan all along. He was not sure that he could go through with it, but hoped that he could. This was not an "in the heat of the moment" decision. That is a TERRIBLE time to push boundaries. NEVER DO THAT.
At some point, I called "uncle" and told Mr. Cajun to take me home. I just wanted to be with him. I was ready for my husband and only my husband. We loaded up and drove the 45 minutes home. Seriously, up to this point, this was the longest car ride ever. (The new title holder for that is a story involving a chick in my lap... but that's another blog).
Once we got home, we learned what reconnection sex is like. We repeated the lesson five times that night. Work the next day sucked elephant balls. But, totally worth it.
The next 36 hours for me was probably what a manic episode feels like. I was so "up." And then I crashed. Like, fetal position, crying, "what have I done???", "are you sure you still love me?", "didn't I just cheat on you AGAIN??!!", "I'm so going to hell." There was a ton of bad things trolling my euphoric state. I'm pretty sure that was a result of too much dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins all at one time. CRRAAASSSHHHH.
Two days of this depressive state and I was about ready to lose my shit. Mr. Cajun ran our bath that night. He lit candles. He made me a drink. He pulled me off of the sofa and guided me into our bathroom and told me to get in the tub. I obliged. Our talk that night is really what helped to pull me out of the funk.
We were now four days post MFM. He told me that it had dawned on him this afternoon while at work that he had not had one more terrible thought. This was the one thing that plagued him. No matter how much he felt like he had forgiven and moved on, he could not get his brain to fall in line. It kept dragging him into the bad place and playing for him intimate scenes of my affair. He could not shake it. He noticed that afternoon that he'd been free of these since our MFM. It was like seeing everything live took the power his imagination had over him and squashed it. He knew what we looked like now. I had told him all about the affair. There was no part of it that he was not read in on. However, the play time was still like a secret. Now, it was out. Facing his fear, allowing what he thought would have been his worst nightmare to happen removed the final barrier in moving on.
He was not turned on watching another man have sex with me, like so many men in the LS are. But, he was not turned off, either. He thoroughly enjoyed watching me and hearing me. Even now, this remains his stance. I freaking love watching him with other women. Sometimes, I have to pull myself back into focusing on my partner because I just want to sit there and watch him work. It's way hot, y'all.
As for John, this was the last night I saw him. Mr. Cajun and John had drinks a couple of weeks later to debrief. It was at this meeting that John told Mr. Cajun he had met someone. They were starting to get serious and he felt like he would be moving in the very near future to be closer to her. We've heard from him twice more since then. Once to tell us that he moved and was extremely happy. Three weeks ago, the "I'm getting married" news came through. Mr. Cajun and I are both so happy for him. Although, I am ever so slightly bummed that my MFM with John and Mr. Cajun will never have a round two!
Now accepting applications for John's replacement. 😉