Excuse Me Sir, Your Wife Has Been Drugged. Part One

Sometimes, you don’t have great chemistry on the first date. Sometimes that’s for a reason!

Pete and I met another couple online, Aaron and Penny. Pete and Aaron had already chatted for a while and then they invited the ladies to join. We had a lot in common with this couple and we thoroughly enjoyed chatting with them.

We texted frequently for nearly two months before we had a free date open to meet. We were in the early months of our lifestyle adventure, and we were very much enjoying the “dating scene” of the lifestyle.

Our plans were simple. And typical. We met for dinner and then we would see where the night led us. One of the restaurants I frequent in New Orleans is Gordon Biersch in Fulton Street Square. It’s a chain restaurant, but it is must see if you like beer. Oddly enough, I do not! I just love the atmosphere here and the food is really good.

We were coming off of a string of successful nights out and we had some high hopes for meeting this couple! I could write an entire blog here about expectations, but I am currently penning two. So, this one is going to be about second chances, how to treat your spouse, what turns us on, and how not to act in a Bourbon Street Bar. All good things. Just not about expectations. Short version: Don’t have any.

I was excited because Penny and I had a ton of stuff in common. Aaron seemed to be very respectful and attentive to me, which is nice. They seemed to be very into each other. They were always sending us pictures from their naughty escapades. I’m really not into that, but I am into people who really love each other. Even though, the pictures were not my thing, the love behind the acts totally was.

Pete was excited, because unlike most women, she was very verbal with her attraction to him.
As per the norm, here is my side rant: Ladies, PLEASE COMPLIMENT THE MEN. If you are out with someone that looks good, treats you right, kisses nicely, put effort into his appearance, for the love of cheese and rice, PLEASE TELL HIM!! They need their love cup filled, just like we do. Pour. It. On. You will stand out in their mind. You will be who he wants a second date with. Ok, moving on.

We met them near the restaurant and walked in together. Oddly enough, there was not much of a wait! We made our way to the booth and sat next to each other, facing Penny and Aaron. The conversation flowed as easily in person as it did in chat.

We shared our “How we got in the LS” stories. Ours were similar. An affair. The difference was his was several years long and when he decided to read Penny in on his activities, it was to tell her goodbye. Long story short, they ended up working it out. He broke off the affair and never spoke to the other woman again. They did the work and when they felt stable, they started swinging. Another detail that I filed under “this is a good match.”

Once we finished dinner, we ordered a round of drinks, to go. While we were waiting on our checks and our drinks, we decided we would check out Frenchmen Street next. If you’ve never been, Frenchmen Street, it is a different vibe than the rest of the quarter. Live music lives here. 

It’s a pretty far little walk to Frenchmen from Fulton, so we ubered. Pete sat in the front, Aaron sat in the middle of the back seat with Penny and I on either side. I noticed that he gave me most of the attention in the car, but I chalked this up to me being the new, shiny thing and left it at that.

We found a bar, ordered their special drink of the day (think bartender meets artist for these drinks. You won’t find mixtures like this anywhere and if you like it, you won’t be able to repeat it). Mine was disgusting, so I ordered goose and water with lime. Pete’s was phenomenal, so I sucked that sucker down while I waited on mine. And then ordered him another.

Pete and Penny chatted as did Aaron and me. I could not help feeling a little off. It was not that there was not chemistry, it was just strange. Usually, if there is a lack of chemistry and there should not be, it is me. I am an overthinker… a planner…. I also find that if I add the right amount of alcohol, this neurotic side of me settles down and I can relax.

Vodka is a sneaky bitch, though.

We wrapped up our time at Fulton Street and decided to end the night at Colette’s. It was a Friday night, and we had not experienced this Friday night single male free for all and decided we should at least check it out. One uber ride later, we were standing in front of the Holiday Inn that serves as the Uber address for it’s location across the street from our real destination: The clothing optional club…..

You would not really notice Colette’s if you did not know it was there. Aside from the short red carpet, ropes, and door man, there is nothing special about that dull grey building. Random red carpets and door men are really nothing special. Point here is, you’re fairly safe from being outed if you go to Colette’s. There’s no sign.

We made our way into the club, dropped our liquor, ordered and secured our drinks and headed to the dance floor. Unfortunately, Aaron was not much of a dancer. Strike One, buddy…. Not really, but it is kind of a pain for someone who feels like a smothered atomic bomb when a beat drops and I cannot move.

So, upstairs we went. We made our way through our normal route, up the stairs, through the library, porn room, hallway past the semi-private rooms, to the orgy room. There were a shit ton of single guys. There also happened to be a convention this weekend that brought a bunch of men that were less than classy and I think they were all at Colette’s.

We opted for the porn room as it was empty. We sat there and chatted for a bit and then Penny and Aaron started kissing. I snuggled into Pete’s chest as I sat on his lap. The atmosphere in the club wasn’t sitting well with my energy and I felt off. At some point I realized that Penny had Aaron unleashed from his jeans and was giving him head. I looked up over her shoulder and met the eyes of a single guy leaning on the wall stroking himself. I shifted my vision to his left and counted three more single guys, all following suit. My mouth was moving telling Penny it was time to go as I shifted my eyes to her right and counted two more men. I don’t know that I’ve witnessed a turtle retract more quickly in my life. Needless to say, it did not take us very much time to roll out.

As this was just par for the course that night at the club, we opted to grab our alcohol from the bar and call it a night. Of course, the plot thickened here when a chick ran up behind me and rubbed my back. As I uttered that she should not be touching me without consent to her significant other who was sporting a wife beater, her “touch” had untied my top.

Needless to say, our date was over. We said goodbye. Pete and Penny exchanged a kiss while I gave Aaron a hug. Penny giggled as she hugged me and uttered that she was so horny, she would not be able to make it across the bridge. They would have to have sex in the parking lot!

While I was very excited for her, I was feeling the vodka, the creepy eyes of the crowd of masturbaters, and that skank’s fingers on my back. I just wanted to be wrapped up in Pete, in our bed.

On our way home, we discussed the interaction with our new friends. Neither one of us had noted a really great chemistry. We seemed to enjoy them each individually, but not so much as a couple. I told Pete that I really did not see the same behavior from him that I’d seen in the chat. As I replayed the night in my head, I realized that he rarely touched her, with the exception of the porn room. Pete reassured me that it was probably more that he was getting to know me and not so much that he was ignoring his wife. I complimented Pete telling him that for a newbie, he was really good at staying attentive to me and still making sure his date had an amazing time.

I could not help but ask myself if the feeling I was currently navigating was due to the way the night ended or if there was an overall lack of chemistry with the couple. Environmental factors can kill the chemistry. Pete agreed we needed to give it a second chance. We were still new, and we just knew that a couple that was so fun to chat with had to be equally fun to hang out with, we just needed a better environment.

Obviously, there is not a pro sitting at this keyboard and I never write with a plan. I am noticing that this is a long ass story and should really be two posts. All of you are tired of reading, the light has turned green, your kid is beating on your door trying to get in the bathroom with you, or your dinner is burning. Whatever it is that you are currently doing, I have taken enough of your time. So, until next time….



As far as the issues at Colette's, I feel like this is important to add because we are a community, not just individuals who share the same interests. We let the club know about our issues, and they removed the problem parties. This is a very isolated event at Colette's. I have never been there before, nor have I been there since and had someone touch me without consent. Furthermore, they now limit the number of singles upstairs. Basically, they're no longer allowed. John, Jackie, and their entire team do a fabulous job at ensuring a safe and fun environment. I highly recommend you visit if you have not been. Lastly, the title of this blog has nothing to do with Colette's. That's for part two!!

If you would like to learn more about the lifestyle and clubs, check out OpenLove101.com.


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